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| It's Hard to be a Woman |
I can almost feel myself losing weight ... simply by putting this on my blog! I've seen two tv shows recently that went on and on about how mid-life is such a wonderful time for women.
Just last week Oprah had a whole show on how great the fifties are . . .. and Suzanne Somers - my Lord - why don't these women just age naturally.
My sister says its because these rich women have "help". They don't grocery shop, do dishes, vacuum, cook, dust, - they have hair extensions, eye lifts, nose jobs, teeth veneers, botox, chin implants, fake fingernails, false eyelashes, microdermabrasion, boobs enhanced, tummy tucks, well, I even heard you can have your varicose veins done.
Puhleeeeeeeze!
I've had a few thoughts of my own and would like to share them with you. Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60 - you'll probably relate.
Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly sprouted chin hairs.
In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wing spans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels.
In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wing spans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels.
Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that this is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless.
Mid-life is when we have more chins than a Chinese phone book.
Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream, 'Listen, honey, the Roman empire fell and those will, too..'
Mid-life is when you look at your know-it-all, cell phone carrying teenager and think, 'For this I have stretch marks?'
Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see your rear without turning around..
In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we can retain is water.
Mid-life means that your Body By Jake now includes Legs By Rand McNally--more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of North Carolina.
But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important. We realize that breasts sag, hips expand, and chins double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now, for the body you had way back when? Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired.
But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important. We realize that breasts sag, hips expand, and chins double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now, for the body you had way back when? Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired.